not-belongingness.

It makes me so fxxxing vulnerable and lonely and depressed, watching TLW at Lunar New Year.

Season 5 Episode X. Alice didn't understand why Tasha had to stay in an organisation that hated who she was.

And I am staying in a community / society / field / profession that hates who I am. Let alone my dear F-A-M-I-L-Y. It feels like sitting on a needle carpet（如坐針氈） every time a la la topic pops up in our daily conversation. (e.g. 家暴條例！）

(Not staying in a religion that REALLY hates who I am makes me feel better, but it doesn't help much. )

It wouldn't be painful unless the needle really pinches you. 針不拮到肉是不知道痛的呀！